if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I came so hard my ears popped.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
