i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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