idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
