Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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