How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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