No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
