I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
