addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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