I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
