We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
