do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
