is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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