That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
