So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I forget how to act sober
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
