I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
