Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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