mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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