Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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