rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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