I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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