He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
