Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
