We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
