dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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