So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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