East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
