do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
