if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
