we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
