I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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