i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
