sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
