oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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