did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
