For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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