Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
