i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
