thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
