Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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