Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
