I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
