I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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