my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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