Got a toothbrush?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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