Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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