I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
