I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
