I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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