She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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