I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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